Beautiful Day, Wasting Away
It's a beautiful day outside. Very atypical from the usual windy, rainy hot days that will soon come. The temperature outside is 29 degrees celsius, 31% humidity and no wind at all.
And here I am sitting around trying to read Joel Greenblatt, while procrastinating (I really should be grading homeworks) and feeling a bit bummed out with my busted knee raised on the table.
Ok, I'm going to get around to grading the damned thing, then pushing off to enjoy the sun for a little bit.
Swollen knee
My right knee is now quite swollen, after dinner and a night out with my friend A. We first went to Pasha for Turkish food, then after giving his friend a ride home, we went to the organic food store Whole Foods, where I bought some presents for my research group as a farewell gift. Got them chocolate truffles, and got myself some apple juice and sweet potato chips.
We then headed to the Flying Saucer where we each had two beers, and then because the beers made me hungry (particularly the last one, a nasty pint of swill called the
Rogue Frosty Frog which the serving girl described as tasting like "medicine right when you are about to puke it out".
So we went to
Katz's the Jewish deli, where I got a matzo ball soup. Good ol' matzo ball chicken soup, the best thing in the world after drinking. I also had a foot-long bratwurst with sauerkraut and Jewish mustard, good stuff just like in Germany. The server at Katz's really reminded me of the Missus, with the same big eyes, friendly smile and good complexion. But this server is a little plain looking, whereas my Missus looks drop-dead gorgeous, for sure.
This made me miss my honey even more, and I felt super lovesick.
Then I return home to find that the sitting around has made my knee even more swollen than before...
Last day of classes yesterday
Unbelievable. The semester went by like a blur.
This is probably the first semester where I am likely to get a 4.0 GPA, though it is a little premature to say so. A pity that I have to leave, just when I am getting the hang of it.
In large part, the reason why this semester worked out so smoothly was my investment in a PDA: I need an alarm going off telling me what deadlines are due, what to do next, and this semester has been brillant because of that. It worked beautifully in coordination with my initial use of the Dave Allen "Getting Things Done" algorithm.
It also helped that a number of my classes were relatively easy, as compared to technical courses which were blatantly boring for me: stuff like Reaction dynamics and kinetics. I'm definitely in the wrong major (Chemistry), and if I were instead in something else like Math Econ or just math, I would be happier (even though I would still be struggling).
Still, it kind of boggles my mind when I read my blog entries from January: I read them, and think, "wow, that was four months ago??" It seemed like yesterday when I came back jetlagged, tired, but eager to start anew after a short stint in Germany and France. Although it definitely feels like I've been away from the Missus for far too long.
Now I just have two finals, followed by the hectic schedule of getting ready for my return.
I can't wait!
Singapore Election coverage
Singapore is one of the few democratic countries in the world that explicitly bans political advertising before elections: no podcasts, no newspaper ads, no radio ads, no TV ads, no internet ads, nothing like the colorful stuff you see on American or Taiwanese TV leading up to their elections.
Basically the only source of news is the main newspapers of Singapore, owned by Singapore Press Holdings, which has on its board a former cabinet member and at least one ex-director of the Internal Security Department of Singapore. Needless to say, while they try to be fair, there is definitely a bias.
Take for example the latest issue of the Straits Times today, which I was able to check online: of 5 MP profiles, 4 of the profiles were the leading People's Action Party members, with only 1 profile of the Opposition MP Mr Low Thia Kiang. Similarly the quotes of candidates had soundbites from 2 PAP candidates vs. 1 Worker's Party (WP) candidate. There are also tons of articles about the PAP's plans and attacks on the opposition. Articles about the PAP have almost no mention of any criticisms by their opponents, but articles about the Opposition party members invariably has a quote or two from any number of senior PAP members criticizing the opposition.
It's not too different from the "balanced news coverage" that the American media gives: essentially they try to "balance" their coverage by juxtaposing a liberal perspective with flat-out-lies from a lot of right-wing extremists. And then there is Fox News, with Bill O'Reilly, who belongs to an entirely different class of extremist altogether. The world of politics is a depressing one for an idealist like me.
I miss you so much
Darling, I miss you so much, that I walked around like a ghost without his shell, pointless and aimless.
:(
Bless Vitamin Water
Vitamin Water is basically a soft drink, but custom-made as a sort-of health supplement as well. This is a new concept for Americans (but not for Singaporeans and Asians who have drunk 100 plus and Pocari Sweat for years), and the guy who created this is now so rich that he just bought a penthouse suite in midtown Manhattan for a cool $5 million.
But bless this invention: the lemonade multi-v Vitamin Water is the best cure for a hangover, ever.
So fucked up
Yesterday evening was by far the most surreal night of my existence to date.
It started at 5pm, when I arrived at the door of one of my professors. Let's call him P. P's one of the sweetest guys around: super hospitable, friendly and approachable. And he's always willing to help. At his door, he had three toilet-door-type signs nailed to a stand. The top sign was of a martini glass. The middle one was of a guy pouring the cocktail into his mouth. The last one was of the same guy lying senseless on a bench with little bubbles coming from his mouth, and the martini glass is lying on the floor beneath the bench.
P plies us with drinks the moment we enter: "guys, what do you want to drink?" I had a beer, a Heineken, and we helped ourselves to lots of tortilla chips and homemade guacamole made by the other prof of the class. The evening went really smoothly: I chatted with quite a number of my classmates (though only half the class turned up), and it was all fine. Along the way, I downed 2 beers, 5 margaritas, 3 tequilla shots, and 1 shot of Glenlivet whisky, in the space of about 3 hours. The food was awesome, the weather fantastic, the drinks amazing, and the company was funny as hell as we spoke about the idiots in the class ("you like mangoes?" and "but the aerodynamics are the same regardless of a golfball or a 747").
After that we left to go to Valhalla's, the grad student pub at Rice. On the way, D. pissed on a fire hydrant. M., whom I had not really spoken to much, was driving and her bf D. was so pissed drunk, he was yelling and acting like a madman. I was in the backseat with Mr Brazil, who's actually graduating with me, and we managed to get D to calm down. M was so pissed, she was saying, "Shut the fuck up, D. Stop acting like an asshole.", and was threatening to go home after dropping us off at Valhalla's. On reaching Valhalla, D and M were in the car thrashing it out while Mr. Brazil and I were outside, shaking our heads and saying "uh oh, bad trouble", but before long we were laughing our asses off talking about all sorts of stuff. D and M come out, we go into Valhalla and I get two beers for myself in quick succession. While Mr Brazil and D were figuring out something and talking to other people, I sat with M by the bar to chat with her, especially since she looked kinda pissed off.
It was nice getting to know her, and she's a really sweet person. I think that was when I was starting to get REALLY drunk, because I definitely showed her the Missus' picture... twice. I also gave her my namecard... twice.
After that, I remember leaving Valhalla and walking to Willy's pub, but that is pretty much what I remember... a haze of drunkeness, buying drinks for some underaged friends, bumping into other friends. I apparently posed for some pictures, which I have absolutely no memory of (I was shown the evidence today).
Then suddenly we were thrown out of the pub, and I came out, and was talking to this Scottish guy whom I hadn't had a chance to talk to, though we've met before. I remember him leaving, saying "I'm going to go with that chick over there", but as he was going she left with someone else.
Then next thing I know I was heading back. Two guys were making some comments and laughing at me behind me.
Then next thing I know I'm wrestling on the ground with one of these guys, a guy with a hard face who resembles a cousin of mine, and we were rolling around in the grass. Half way through, I remember saying "why are we fighting, dude?"
"I don't know man, I was just asking if you were ok, and before I know it we're wrestling here!"
"Dude, I thought you guys were jumping me"
Then we were walking, arms around each other's shoulder, me apologizing profusely ("dude, I'm so sorry man" "it's ok, dude, no worries"), and as we reached our dorm rooms, a police car pulls up, and two police officers step out.
I remember vaguely giving him my ID, and he looked at it, and asked us, "Gentlemen were both of you fighting? A lady called and said she saw you two fighting further up the road" "Yesss sir, we were, but it was my fault. Now we're friends." He looked at me and said, "Are you sure? You're both cool?" we both said yes. I think he said something like "I want you two to go straight back to your rooms now".
---
Then I woke up this morning, feeling pretty ok and thinking to myself that was a nice dream, a funny dream. I lifted my knee, and FUCK, IT HURTS. Goddamn basketball practice yesterday, I thought. Need to be careful with the leg there.
I turned on the computer, and thought to myself, wait, where are my glasses? I opened my wallet, and my credit cards were all over the place...
Was it... ?
Did it really happen?
Messaged a friend: "was I at Willy's pub last night?"
Reply: "haha, yes you were so drunk. you were groping me, you gay shit"
POSTSCRIPT: I actually managed to find the guy today, since we live in the same dorm. Apologized again, and we were having a laugh about it. He said he was drunk as well, so he doesn't know either why we started fighting.
Le Biatch
My advisor is such a bitch sometimes. Today after our meeting, I asked her about the paper that I had given to her last week for her signature.
At that time, she had told me to remind her by email.
So I asked her about it today, and instead of saying, "Sure, you can come pick it up at my office later" or something like that, she gave me a blank look and said, "What paper?"
I then reminded her about the paper that I had given to her, IN PERSON, WITH TWO OTHER GRAD STUDENTS.
I looked at her, and for some reason, I was staring at her mouth, which was slanted to a side and pressed tightly together. Obviously very annoyed with me.
Her: "It's in my office somewhere. We're in a meeting now." -turns her back to me-
"WHAT THE FUCK???", I screamed mentally, even while my face bore a smiling mask on its skin. I bent over and started zipping my bag up. After 15 more minutes of listening to another grad student talk about a paper, which I had no clue about, I left, and here I am venting my anger at yet-another-menopausal bitch.
Rihaku/ Li Po/ Li Bai/ 李白
I'm almost done with my 300ml bottle of
Junmai ginjyo sake from Rihaku, which is a Japanese sake brewery named after the infamous Tang Dynasty Chinese/Persian poet, Li Bai (李白）, or Rihaku in Japanese.
The sake itself is pretty awesome: it's smooth, and after swallowing it leaves this savory flavour in the mouth, which is what the Japanese call
umami. Modern Westerners will readily identify it as the flavour and texture of monosodium glutamate, which is actually naturally bountiful in shellfish and seafood in general. It sounds disgusting, I know, but the sake really does taste very refined with the
umami at the end, lingering in the mouth after the sake is already in the belly!
李白 himself is a very interesting character. He wrote many poems while completely drunk, and one of his most famous poems is called 《将进酒》, which is basically an Ode to Wine. This is one of the most famous poems in Chinese literature, and is the origin of a number of famous phrases, such as:
天生我才必有用，
千金散尽还复来。
(Heaven gave me my talent, and I can definitely find some employment:
the thousand gold pieces spent can easily be earned back)
and
钟鼓馔玉不足贵，
但愿长醉不愿醒。
(The lavish lifestyle is not really precious,
I would prefer to be drunk forever and not wake up to face the music)
As you can tell, this poet is the right person to have a sake named after him!
On the BBC World Service
Heard from a podcast:
---
Apparently, global warming is helping some plant species thrive in the UK: ORCHIDS!
---
Little wonder! Afterall my friends in the UK are complaining that with each passing year, the summers in London get increasingly warm and unbearable (since most houses in London have no air conditioning). Before long, London will end up with Singapore's weather...
Love
I miss looking into her eyes as I hold her close to me, as she sits with her knees folded to her chest, with my left arm beneath her knees and my right arm holding her back and closer to me.
Her big brown eyes, framed by her long eyelashes, speak more than any volume of love poetry, and touches deeper than anything else.
iLike iTunes & Podcasts (w/o iPod)
I had heard of
Podcasts before, but it was only until recently that I discovered the
true potential of podcasts.
For those who don't know what podcasts are, podcasts are downloadable mp3 files published and placed online by individuals or (a lot of) media organizations. One can listen to a podcast anytime one wants, on an mp3 player or with iTunes: iTunes seamlessly coordinates the uploading and updating of these podcasts so one always gets the most updated podcasts.
It's AWESOME: I get to listen to satirical sites like the hilarious Singaporean site
Mr Brown & Mr Miyagi, better-than-radio-broadcasts versions of World Service
Auntie Beeb, and also a lot of podcasts that allow me to learn a language (like Deutsche Welle's "Langsame gesprochene Nachrichten" for German and a Japanese podcast channel for basic Japanese).
Right now I'm listening to the BBC, which comes as a HUGE relief after being deprived for so long... it's going to get even better after I get the graduation day present that my sister has gotten me: an iPod video (30Gb).
-rubs palms-
Can't wait for it to arrive!
Presentations
The presentation today for one of my classes went well. Actually, it went even better than expected: a good friend of mine in the class basically told me afterwards that "I thought your presentation was the best in the class". His own presentation wasn't bad either: the way he had painted it out, I thought it was going to be shitty as hell. In the end, it went surprisingly well, except for an arrogant fat bastard who kept asking stupid questions at the end about the aerodynamics. Pretty thick-skinned, considering that my friend (giving the presentation) has a Bachelor's degree in Aerodynamic engineering from MIT!! (And the fat bastard is doing some nano-related research with absolutely no aerodynamics background at all)
Our presentation was for a business plan that we had developed, assuming that the technology we had achieved the technological milestones that we had set (it's still very nascent). The business plan presentation was good enough that after I presented, surprisingly enough one of the judges (a venture-capitalist consultant who helps startups find VC funding) turned around to give me a nod and a smile after I had returned to my seat. I think all three of us felt really ecstatic, in large part because we were all worried like hell. But it was a really good team effort: we initially had problems with coming up with a valid idea, then everything came together, with crucial art work and research where necessary. I basically injected humor, made things likeable and while that isn't the whole point, it DOES help bring the point across.
Basically, marketing and sales only works if you have some substance to back up the fluff and packaging.
I guess it went well largely because I made it interesting and humorous: our presentation was also simple (our PhD had initially worried that we will take a lot less time: I insisted that we stick to the original plan even if it means ending early), easy to follow and relatively straightforward. I had also insisted on keeping the presentation simple, so we put all our calculations and assumptions onto a handout, which our PhD initially forgot to print ("fuck!" said he, as he slapped his forehead), but was quickly rectified while we attended the first presentation.
A number of presentations made a point of including every single damned topic that we had covered in our course, which made for a really cumbersome presentation. One of them went into too much explicit technical detail, to the point that nobody really followed or gave a damn. Yet another one made some ridiculously outrageous claims about renewable energy that I was dying to point out (solar energy for $.01 a kWh, fossil fuels for $.15/kWh and wind for $.05/kWh?? Get real!), but which I refrained from attacking since the point of this class is not to make enemies (our common enemy, El Idioto, was conspicuously absent, possibly to avoid getting his Latin American neck lynched for having made us all suffer his stupid questions for the entire semester).
I am thinking of asking one of my lecturers for this class to write a recommendation letter (or more) for my biz school applications. Hopefully she is impressed!
Love in Flatland
Time has a blotter paper effect on one's memory that becomes more pronounced as one gets older.
It wasn't too long ago when I was completely in love with her (and I still am) and could remember and capture every single detail in our relationship.
Just recently, I felt a bit weirded out, being at a place where I had been before in a previous long distance relationship: the feeling of 2-D love.
Let me explain a bit about what I mean.
When you love someone and are involved in a relationship, you get to see the person in every single aspect. If someone were to ask you about fresh love, you would probably remember the most important salient features of that relationship: the kisses, holding her hand, the first time you made love, her eyes, how you danced with her in the snow, etc.
But those salient features are like musical tones, which are incomplete and hollow without the company of lesser details. When one only loves another for the salient features ("her reliability, character, personality" etc. etc.) and when one only remembers salient points of the relationship, one really doesn't love the Other, so much as love a caricature of the Other's real being. It's flat, boring, like a skeleton sketch instead of an Impressionist's oil painting made vividly alive in one's mind through the collection of a myriad small little things.
Little things comprising of her small mannerisms and actions, such as the race to the door, the way she typed furiously, how she cocks her head when something interests her, how she sticks out her tongue and makes a farting sound, these little things are the things that make her come alive in my mind, and lift her up from 2-D monotony into a vivid 3-D living memory of what our love actually is.
Just remembering this, and writing this, has lifted her up, and made her come back to life again in my mind.
I really miss her.
Possibilities
I just discussed with one of my best friends, let's just call him Jordkl.
Jordkl does a lot of social work in Singapore, for grassroots organizations. Specifically he is involved with this thing called "meet the people" sessions, in which members of parliaments and grassroots-leaders meet the people. People come to meet the MPs and do all sorts of things, including complaining, asking for help, etc.
He does good work.
So I figured that he would be good person to speak with regarding the possibility of doing social work in Singapore. True enough, he is: I'll keep in contact with him about things, but there might be the chance that I will be able to do some sort of guiding or coaching work, along the lines of what I did at Rice last semester for Leadership Rice. Very exciting.
Books
My current reading list:
-
You can be a stock market genius by Joel Greenblatt
-
The Little book that beats the market, same author
- "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
- "HMS Surprise" by Patrick O'Brian
Regarding the last book, I have essentially finished reading the entire Hornblower series by C.S. Forester: the calculations and portrayal of navy officers seems to be accurate, and I was also directed to reading O'Brian, whom I was told was a better portrayer than Forrester was.
The Dale Carenegie book was influenced by a favourable article about it by
The Economist. I read it (briefly) almost seven years ago, and have no recollection of it at all: given my recent disasters in dealing with my contacts, I thought I would give it a shot. It is proving to be a very enjoyable read, in large part because the language is modern (even though it dates to 1936) and can be blunt at times, in a humorously candid way.
I still haven't really read the Greenblatt books yet, so can't give much comment on them. One thing to note, though, is that Joel Greenblatt is a successful hedge fund manager who averaged 50% annual returns for more than a decade: considering that Warren Buffett averaged 23% annual returns (albeit over 40 years), you get the idea about what sort of person Greenblatt is. Lousy practitioner, he is not....
To MBA or not to MBA, that is the (Expensive) Question
I am very much at a loss as to whether I want or should pursue an MBA in Singapore post-graduation.
Reasons why I want an MBA:
1) Having a Science degree does not help me wrt employment prospects within Singapore
2) I don't want to do academia
3) I don't want to do chemistry
4) Most jobs seem to require a Master's degree of some sort
5) the jobs and sectors that I am interested in require some sort of background in finance, economics or management
6) doing the "mini-MBA" at Rice (Chem 750 and 751), I really think I am more inclined towards something commercial: this is where I can do my stuff, and where I am effective at leading and getting things done as compared with something science-or-technical
7) Getting skills related to (5)
8) 1 year MBA, broadly recognized
9) International networks for entrepreneurship opportunities
10) Opens up options to future employment
Arguments against getting an MBA
1) Expense: 45,000 euros!
2) Work experience: I will still have a grand total of 0 years of work experience at the end of the year
3) No work experience: chances of getting in are a lot slimmer
4) Have not yet done GMAT: might be wasting time (if GMAT score sucks ass)
5) Is it relevant to renewables??
At this point, I am partial towards giving it a shot: my parents are supporting me as well, even though the application costs are substantial (200 euros for GMAT, same price for the registration costs at INSEAD). I will have to think about it in the days to come.
Blue Paddle and Summer Pils
Saint Arnold Brewery's Summer Pils isn't in the same league as Czech or German beers, but for an American microbrew, it is pretty damn good: very refreshing hops flavour, smooth, slightly sweet even though it is (probably) brewed from the Houston municipal water supply.
Also noteworthy:
New Belgium brewery's Blue Paddle Pilsener Lager has a very pronounced hoppy flavour, but for an American beer, this has lots of character. I would say it reminds me a lot of the Czech
Pilsner Urquell, which isn't my favourite (that will be
Czechvar (aka the ORIGINAL Budweiser) but is as good as it gets in the land of Weak-Piss-Masquerading-As-Beer.
I'm drinking as much American microbrewed beers as I can before I graduate and leave, since I won't get another chance once I'm back in Singapore: then, I might get to brew my own beer (depending on budget and on alcoholic inclination).
Did I say that I want to quit drinking altogether? I'm not lying: I'm seriously thinking about it... but just THINKING about it, for now.
cheers!
; )
Grading physics homeworks
I hate grading.
Sitting there and ticking away, trying to decipher the cryptic handwriting of some freshman genius, and tearing my hair out from the roots is not really my idea of a good time.
For the most part it is a pretty brain-dead process. And, I have to confess, a number of times I find myself unable to solve the same problems that I am supposed to grade (If not for the solution, I wouldn't know how to do the problems!) especially since electromagnetism is my particular weak point in physics: I hate it with a passion.
Ironic, then, that my new found interest in renewable energy, particularly in wind energy, has a heavy emphasis on electrical circuitry (with its accompanying E&M) and on vibrations (aka the mechanical analogue of E&M...after all, E&M effects are basically the relativistic effects of vibrating electrons).
That said, I still hate grading. It just drives me nuts, even though I'm getting paid for it, that I sit here and waste my life away. A lot of times I get distracted by other things, chiefly because I really have very little motivation to do it: no matter how focused I am, or distracted, invariably it takes me anywhere from 4 to 7 hours.
At the end of it, I'm just a hollow shell, devoid of any enthusiasm I can lay claim to, bereft of all energy, but too frustrated to lie down meekly for rest.
I'm just pissed.
Tucker Max at Rice
Tucker Max is a pretty big name internet celebrity in the US. Basically he's famous because he puts his entire life online: you can read his exploits (involving an ex-Miss Vermont, amongst others) at his website.
He came tonight by invitation of the Rice American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), to speak about a case against him that is a major First Amendment test. The person is suing Tucker for comments made on Tucker's website's message forum. The details are available on Tucker's website. I'm going to be talking more about the talk itself.
At 9pm on Wednesday, I decided that I would attend this talk, and I walked over to the Humanities building Room 117, where the talk was scheduled to be.
When I reached there, I couldn't believe my eyes: the room was PACKED. Literally, there were people on every single square foot of the room, on the floors, on the window sills, sticking to the walls, etc. Everyone was chatting, people were asking "where is he? Is he going to talk at all?" I thought I was in Delhi train station, except almost everyone was white and nobody was shitting on the floor.
What the fuck, I thought. This is nuts.
I looked for a place to sit in vain, so I went to take a piss, and as I was washing my hands, there was a white guy in the corner of the bathroom, wiping his hands, wearing beige shorts and a white T shirt, and he looked vaguely like Tucker's picture on the website. I barely gave it any thought and just went on my own business anyway.
Came out, and the place was starting to overflow. I spotted a friend, let's call her "X", who was on her cellphone. Suddenly she led the whole contingent to the Baker Institute, and while I was walking with her, she started chatting with me about how things were, giving me hints like "that's Tucker" (it turns out I was right), "that's R., he's G's boyfriend and studies at Baylor", etc. The crowd was HUGE. Ridiculous. It stretched on for maybe 200 meters long along the sidewalk as we moved from the Humanities building to the Baker Institute.
(Note about X: A friend of mine has the hots for her, although I have always had a feeling that she has an ever-so-slight interest in me, which I have never reciprocated (even before the days of the Missus) precisely because her mannerisms remind me of a psycho-ex, and she resembles an anime character (big Caucasian brown eyes, with a small up-turned nose, and small lips...). Now with the Missus in my life, there's even less reason to look around and "check out the Menu" (as an Irish friend of mine calls it). )
Anyway, I summoned up the balls to chat with Tucker, and spoke with him briefly about Miss Vermont, and how she resembled my psycho-ex. I also spoke about defamation law in Singapore, and he made a tasteless remark about "they probably whip you", which is all very American. He seemed a nice enough guy, a little jaded at meeting yet-another-person-trying-to-meet-a-celebrity, and not at all the crazy wild guy that his website makes him out to be. This is something that he touches on later, that the site captures a small slice of his personality and person.
He looked a lot more average than his website makes him out to be. On his website, he looks a lot more muscular and lean; in person, he dresses pretty sloppily (white cotton T-shirt with beige berms) and looks a little on the heavy side. He wasn't shaved either.
When we finally reached the Baker Institute, there was the requisite little speech given by the ACLU Rice Chapter President, before Tucker was introduced. He stepped on stage with a bottle of Shiner bock in his hand, and spoke for maybe 20 minutes about his suit.
He talks very much like some of the people I know from the Army: almost all his sentences are punctuated by "fucking", "fuck", "shit" etc. and his nouns are all adjectivized by "fuck", "fucking", "shitty" etc.
And he is funny. HILARIOUS.
Some excerpts:
About his mother: "most of the time, she just cries... 'oh he is such a bad person!' "
About one of his colleagues at Festering Ass: "he writes that the sole purpose of ninjas are to kill people and flip (the middle finger at people)"
About the "horrific" 300-pound NSA (National Security Agency) spy whom he screwed: "I don't remember how we hooked up, though I vaguely remember hooking up with her in front of all my friend. But I DO remember the next morning...unfortunately, all too clearly."
About Miss Vermont: "She's a hypocrite who portrays herself on her website as this pinnacle of abstinence and virtue. Well, get this: I met her for the first time in the gym at 7pm. By 8.30pm we were having dinner, by 9.30pm we were hooking up, by 11pm she was drunk, and by 1am we were screwing in her white Ford Explorer."
When pushed by Ms. Chicago (see below) to tell a story from his book: "I don't really want to talk about it." (Ms Chicago: what can we do to make you tell us this story?) "Ok, the only way I will tell this story to you, is as part of a post-coital conversation." (-General Hysterical Laughter, as Ms Chicago blushes-) -Looks around in amazement- "You guys actually know what 'post-coital' means: I said that at B.U., and all these rich stupid kids were looking around asking 'whaa.... ?' "
About him making fun of people: "The person who gets made fun of the most in my stories is myself. I don't exactly compliment myself when I write that I woke up in a strange place, wallowing naked in my own vomit with shit on my head!"
---
He talks very much the same way he writes on his website, in a very similar style. It's the same self-deprecating humor combined with a down-to-earth-straight-as-an-arrow-to-your-fucking-nuts style that probably explains his popularity (or lack thereof) with girls.
After he explained his suit, he opened the floor to questions. Some of the questions were pretty good, in particular the ones addressing his message (which is essentially, be yourself, do what you are passionate about, and be honest with yourself first and foremost). But there were others (particularly by a girl we will call "Ms Chicago") who were particularly annoying. Ms. Chicago, in particular, took offence to his characterization of Chicago (the University) as a dull place with appalling social life: you can go to downtown Chicago, said she.
Tucker (rightly) pointed out that UChicago is in the middle of Hyde Park, with the nearest subway station outside of it in an area where "even drug dealers don't cross at night if they want to stay alive" (it's true: I was there for a summer so I can attest to that); the buses stop running at midnight, and there is absolutely NOTHING in Hyde Park (again, very true).
Ms Chicago then went on about "De Pauls university", at which point Tucker interrupted her and said (very loudly), "What the fuck, since when did I say anything about De Pauls? Fuck, you're stupid! Shut the fuck up!" and she shut up, to general applause from the audience (I think we were ready to lynch her by then).
The evening continued until 10.30pm along much the same vein, but what astounds me still is how there were SO MANY WOMEN WHO OBVIOUSLY WANTED TO FUCK HIM.
Seriously. I've never seen as many low-cut spags and tops, and I've been at Rice for four years now. And these same women dressed in these stamp-sized tops were making coy remarks to him, lining up after his talk to get his signature, inviting him to have drinks at their dorm rooms, asking him to regale us all with some sexually explicit story, or asking him about his personal sex life and conquests. All with the "I want to get laid by you" body language: extra-large eyes, licking their lips, positioning their body such that their cleavage seems to replace their face, etc. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with female attention like that.
It's so weird. And it's something my smarter female friends don't really understand either: most of them looked at Tucker and said to me "he's gross". But these girls looked at him like he was organic honey from Whole Foods, or something like that.
All in all, I laughed so hard that I developed abs: it was a good night out just to listen to him.
Tucker Max at Rice tonight
I'm wondering if I should go tonight. Most likely I will: even though the content of his talk will most probably be on the first Amendment, as my friend says, "he definitely will include a lot of non-serious stuff".
It'll make for good entertainment for sure.
Lucky Ali, lucky me
Listening to Lucky Ali, I was just reminded by the person who introduced him to me.
I love you, darling.
Buried in work
After sending the research report to my graduate students, I got them back today with a million and one additional revisions to be done.
I don't think I'll be sleeping before 3am tonight...
:(
Bridget Jones and Women on the search
A friend of mine is now travelling through Vietnam and entering China, and here's a sanitized transcript of our conversation:
---
Me: When do you return?
Her: hahah/... i bought a one way ticket
Me: interesting. So you intend to come back somehow someday, I presume?
Her: hahah... when I find my soulmate!
---
Knowing her, she's probably only half-joking.
It's interesting, though, that she has such a strong urge to hook up. I am not sure how old she is, but this friend of mine can't be older than 30. Why is there such a strong urge to bond with someone?
She's not alone though. An ex-"girl friend" (female friend) of mine said much the same thing, and directed me to read Bridget Jones' Diary, which I did. It yielded few clues, although I did recognize most of the symptoms in a number of my friends: the urge to look for someone, socializing, dressing up like bait to 'snare' a guy, and worse of all to talk in fishing terminology ("snare", "hook", "lure", "fishing grounds"). There is also the worry of being 'left on the shelf', as though they have an expiry date printed on their bottom, like canned food.
It's much the same thing with "Sex and the City", which starts off with the premise that modern women are independent and strong, but ends up with all of them becoming different versions of the soulmate-hunting-art-dealing-character Charlotte, who is very much a personification of a trans-atlantic Bridget Jones clone.
That said, I can understand this urge to be with someone. I remember being depressed about being single when I was younger. I was also desperate to get laid, and still a virgin at that point (this was before I went to the army). I remembered thinking that once I had a girlfriend, everything would be bright and happy, and all will be well.
Of course, after getting a girlfriend then, I quickly realized that this is not the case at all: if anything, having a partner when you're unhappy creates a lot of new problems in itself. There is a tendency to expect the partner to be responsible for your personal happines, like "Why am I so unhappy if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend? He/She must not be doing things right" and that's when the nagging starts.
Relationships requires relationship skills, but first and foremost like a lot of other things, it requires first a relationship with oneself. Looking at a number of Buddhist monks, Catholic nuns and some single older-generation Americans, they seem happy and at peace with themselves. All this without having someone as well.
Coming back to the girls who look to snare someone, I guess I must sound really smug, but I'm just really puzzled by this mentality, which strikes me as analogous to being unhappy about a bouquet of wilted roses while standing in the middle of a garden full of beautiful flowers. There is much else in life to be happy about, besides hooking up, and if you're happy and already living an enriched life, your chances for finding someone balanced and beautiful are that much greater. The beauty being that if you don't find that person, it is not the end of the road, as would seem to someone who has as his/her raison d'etre to be finding a partner.
I know I sound like a know-it-all at this point. But I know I don't know everything. In particular, I don't know how to help my female friends who are stuck with this mindset.
The truth is, I am in reality just a hypocrite, because I am already happily attached and cannot imagine living otherwise.
Banksy's Fallen Angel
I love this guy's work. You should definitely visit his
website to check it out!
Hypocrite
Yesterday I spent so much money on unnecessary things.
On impulse I bought house music on Apple iTunes. For dinner I went with good friends to a Thai restaurant, after which some of us headed to a pub where I got two pints and we then went for bubble tea.
All in all, a very spendthrift day, which will make the Missus mad if she knows about this, because there I go telling her how to save money while I spend it like a king!
I'm such a hypocrite sometimes....
:(
The next step
The past few days has been quite crappy as far as productivity is concerned.
I have been running my experiments, as evidenced by the fact that at 12.30am, I am still in the lab (albeit typing this blog, but I was here from 9 to 11, then from 1pm to 6pm, and then from 9pm till 11.30 running experiments. That's a total of about 9.5 hours in the lab...).
But my mindset has been totally screwy. For one, I have not been "in the present" at all. Rather I feel stressed out, because I keep thinking about what I need to do, what I should be doing. I'm a little burnt out as well by the huge amount of work that I have to do, even while I am getting things done.
I have noticed that I get very easily affected by external measures of my performance. I then end up focusing on "what it will be like to attain these external measures, like getting a 4.0 GPA or having finished all my exams, or being able to run 4.8km within 15 minutes etc.", instead of focusing on the things that help me get these things done, like "do this homework now, write the business plan draft now, etc".
Increasingly I just wish I could finish with everything, go back and spend a month relaxing, running, eating well, sleeping well, and going out with my girlfriend in Singapore. To just recharge my batteries with her.
I have spent so much money on impulse in the last few days, one of which was a $63 purchase on Amazon of a number of books on investment, business and a preparation for the GMAT, all of which I checked are cheaper than I can get in Singapore. It's still a large sum, though, and it's not my money. Worst of all, I have a very vague recollection of when and how I bought it: it's still like a hazy dream, in my memory.
I think I desperately need proper rest. I have been going to bed restless, and waking up tired for the past week. I think the stress is getting to me, as well as the complete lack of exercise. I'm losing sight of the fun, and am making things to be a bigger deal than they actually are in my mind...
I'm going back to sleep now.
Perfection in Singaporean Politics
The Straits Times has a forum letter today that they printed, with the title " How about 'Nobel Prize for Politics' for MM Lee?".
The writer of the letter is entitled to his own point of view. It happens to be one that I do not agree with. Here's why I disagree.
Firstly, I find the tone of the letter to be extremely distasteful. Essentially the letter lavishes praise on MM (for Minister Mentor) Lee Kuan Yew in a tone that is reminiscent of North Korean propaganda about Kim Il Sung. I don't mean that MM LKY is LIKE Kim il Sung: if anything, unlike the Great Leader, LKY has been known to shun the personality cult of obeisance. We don't have to sing glorious songs about his wartime deeds (in his memoirs, he wrote candidly about how he escaped death under the Japanese by the skin of his teeth as a young teenager), nor do we have to memorize his sayings ad verbatim ad nauseum. Nor do I mean Singapore is anything like North Korea: can you imagine Ministry of Sound or Zouk opening up in Pyongyang? (Maybe in the future when Jay Chou writes hip hop for the North Korean propaganda ministry!)
Rather, it's just the tone of sheer, blind adulation, in the same way some American teens exhibit similar dedication to Britney Spears or Jessica Alba. That type of blind faith is what I mean by "reminiscent of North Korean propaganda about Kim Il Sung".
To give you an idea of what I mean, take this excerpt for example:
"I am saddened by all the talk about the perception of him still 'pulling the strings', and the suggestion that he departs from the political arena as one way to quell the perception, or, should I say, misperception.
Is this how we treat what is probably Singapore's most precious, treasured homegrown mind so far?
Frankly, so what if there have been instances when his 'pulling of strings' has been pivotal, so long as it has all been to the benefit of Singapore?"Echoes of plaudits for the "Great Leader"? Actually it sounds more like he is talking about Paramount Leader (Deng Xiaoping). But either way, it's highly discomfiting.
Logically there is nothing wrong with these statements, and historically, I have to agree that there were times when the pulling of strings was justified. For example, when MM Lee made a comment in the 90s along the lines of "mere tolerance (between races) is not sufficient: this implies that there still exists misunderstanding and ill-will". A very true insight into the real nature of racial harmony in Singapore, and it sparked off a debate that is more pertinent today than ever.
But there are more disturbing things to come in this letter:
"Singapore's political system, which MM Lee was instrumental in creating and evolving, is not perfect but it is as perfect as a political system can be. More importantly, it has and continues to be effective. A system, unique to Singapore, that has created three current Cabinet members with more than 50 years of prime-ministerial experience between them; a system where government surpluses have been returned to the people in the form of the Progress Package; a system where public housing gets continual upgrading. A system that is unlikely to be matched, let alone surpassed, anywhere in the world.""Singapore's political system... is as perfect as a political system can be"?
Seriously, get a grip.
Logically he is right: the system in Singapore IS unique, and so logically it cannot be matched or surpassed with anything else in this world, since that would be comparing a statistical outlyer with the median.
But looking beyond the narrow logic of this letter, and using a more worldy reasoning, a political monopoly, maintained by the unfair media coverage (which is
tightly state-controlled, as implied by this article by a foreigner who went through it), and enhanced by a subservient, apathethic and self-censoring populace can hardly be called a 'perfect political system'.
Especially since we are talking of a state with a constitution that basically guarantees freedoms only within the boundaries of the law (meaning that if you break the law, you have no constitutional rights of any sort), that gives employers absolute rights to intrude into their employees' internet privacy at the workplace, that has a single union controlled by a cabinet member, that gives the state the power to detain suspects without trial up to two years or more, and that does not have any legislation or government body to oversee consumer rights and to prevent consumer abuse.
In addition, the "surpluses" that he speaks of miraculously is returned to the people only during election year, at a time when the economy is recovering from a long depression. If you count the losses to the economy through the 6+ years of economic depression, the small sum of money returned to the people is really nothing, especially if we discount for inflation. Also bear in mind that for a number of years following the Asian Financial Crisis, government ministers retained their ridiculous payscale, even
raising it in 2000, as implied by this article, at times of economic difficulty for most Singaporeans. Someone at that time wrote that "if the Singapore economy was a company, and the Cabinet was the Board of Directors, they would have been fired a long time ago instead of getting a pay raise".
You might think I find the government completely tasteless, but that is false. On a lot of matters, I agree with the government's take. For one, national service is a necessary measure. Making citizens pay for their own health care (instead of having a fully subsidized system like the Europeans) is a good idea when coupled with government subsidies. The Central Provident Fund, taxation for road use and car usage, and building a world-class transportation system, all these are brillant. The Singapore civil service and government bureaucracy is also fabulous, as anyone having to deal with German red-tape can testify ("In Germany it's public HARASSMENT, not service!" hissed a German friend of mine).
And trust me, when Hurricane Rita was threatening to hit Houston, I wished that the Singapore government was in charge (although the Houston authorities did handle it well, given the circumstances and given the fact that they were in the process of dealing with Katrina evacuees when suddenly Rita loomed).
What am I trying to say then? I'm trying to say that the Singapore political system is still not perfect. We still have a political system that has insufficient checks and balances to ensure that the people are protected from the government. We still have a political system that has tremendous potential for systematic abuse of power. We have one of the world's highest per capita execution rates and carbon emission rates. We also have one of the largest income disparities in the world. There is also much existing resentment and tension between the races as well.
There is much work to be done, and to be blindly complacent and self-laudatory is to ignore existing and underlying issues, some of which are extremely serious. By all means, celebrate past successes (which aren't even yours to begin with), but don't lose sight of other key issues.
One of the utilitarian tests of a "perfect political system" would include the harm test: is the state able to be held in check if its actions will do more harm to its citizens than good? In many cases, I would argue that this is not the case in Singapore at all.
Of course, I could very well be wrong; afterall I already am wrong and am already doomed to Judeo-Christian hell as a Buddhist.
Sweet lady of mine
She's so sweet: after reading the previous pathethic entries to this blog, she wrote me a few emails comforting me.
I love you, meri Jaan.
:)
Depression and Shadows from the Past
I know I'm just tired. But there's a part of me that feels like a pretty worthless piece of crap.
Except for that little bruise to the ego (see previous post), I really should be celebrating. Afterall, I just received notification from a government agency that they are interested in further assessing my suitability for a job in Singapore and I will get interviewed after returning to Singapore. In addition, I finally got inducted into PLU after a year's delay.
But there is a bit of grief going on within me. Sometimes it's quite disappointing that despite so many years of trying to be a better person, a better listener, etc., I still am very much the same dogmatic stubborn headed person.
Was I so obnoxious? AM I still such a pain? A friend from eons past, even though I had not spoken with her since I had acne in my teens, made a comment "you are still the same" when she met me online. I would very much disagree that I am at all the same person from even four years back, let alone from 10-20 years ago.
It's weird. After The Incident That Shall Not Be Named, I feel that my character has basically transformed in many ways back to my old aggressive ENTJ (Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Judging) personality type: abrasive, direct, blunt, tactless at times, ego-driven.
It's almost a world apart from two years back when I was very much more docile and more of a listener than somebody with a strong opinion (although I believe that given some time, I can accept alternative viewpoints).
Now I am a lot more pro-active and active than those docile days, but while I am changing, it almost seems as though I am changing back to a former self, and it is not so much a progression as it is a regression back to the past, like a shadow that flitters from the light back into the dark.
Phi Lambda Upsilon
I have officially become a member of the Chemical Sciences Honor Society Phi Lambda Upsilon: I'm now a PLUmber (synthesis of 'PLU' and 'member'), but so is the guy who fixes my toilet, except he doesn't have the caps.
F*** YOU!!! (Actually, it's F*** ME!!!)
I wonder if you have ever had a similar experience:
You are happily sharing something with a friend. Or in my case, with a number of very good friends. What you share is not very complete, just a partial snapshot of what is happening in your life and why you are thinking of certain things.
All of a sudden, you get this reply from a good friend, who isn't so tactful, telling you in a pretty condescending way (even though he prefaces his comments with the disclaimer 'these are just my two cents') what you pretty much know, in addition to telling you what seems (to you) to be completely wrong. You know he means well, but he's just SO GODDAMN SELF RIGHTEOUS.
It's annoying.
It's "damn pissing off", as an Indian friend of mine likes to say.
And while typing off an indignant reply to justify yourself, it suddenly occurs to yourself that YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE THIS.
To your girl. To your best friend. To your other best friends. To acquaintances. To your family.
This is what your other best friends have been trying to tell you: that you like to give unsolicited opinions/advice, in a very condescending way, making snap judgements and sounding completely like an arrogant arse.
That is exactly what happened to me today, through an email exchange in which I had to justify to a whole bunch of friends who basically attacked my idea to take the CFA as being "illogical".
It reminded me that the Missus had also once said before, that she didn't like how I "talked down" sometimes.
I am such a piece of shit...
But I'm a self-cleaning piece of shit, so I'm definitely going to be conscious of this and be better at listening, and not passing judgements or giving 'advice'.
As this Buddhist nun (I think it's Tenzin Palmo, I'm not sure) said, "Most things in life have to be earned, but advice and criticism comes free, and it comes so easily!"
I'm going to keep my ears cleaned out, and not listen so much to myself or pretend that I know everything and anything.
It's a bit of a tight balance, though, learning and having the 'arrogance'/confidence to know when not to listen too much.
The Beautiful and the ridiculous
I was running the outer loop this morning, in an effort to 'wake myself up': I ended up feeling like crap, and even more tired than before.
Just when I was about to give up, this black man dressed in a rather worn red T-shirt and jeans, with a denim baseball cap on his head, cycled past me on the road. He looked at me, smiled and gave me a wave. And his bicycle was loaded front and back with dozens of beautiful flowers, which looked fresh and colourful in the bright sunshine.
He cycled on, and it was a picture-perfect moment: the colourful and vivid red, pink, yellow and blue flowers on the bicycle as he cycled along the road, dappled with the shadows of oak tree branches that line both sides of the sidewalk.
---
A little later, as I rounded the bend, a lady literally popped out of the hedges in front of me, and continued running in front of me. I recognized her: during this run, this woman had repeatedly overtaken and lagged behind me for the past 2 miles of running. Our runs had become an informal sort of race between us. AND, in order to overtake me, she had actually crossed through the hedges and across the mushy vegetated grounds for about 100 meters JUST to overtake me!
I just laughed. It's so childish that I couldn't believe it. I had to stop running not because I was conscious of the subconscious 'competition' with her, but because physically I couldn't take it, but obviously she was a lot more conscious of the competition, and so felt it necessary to resort to a short cut in order to 'win'!
I was just competing with myself; who am I cheating when I take a short cut?
Long day
I've spent most of today doing work. Had breakfast as usual. Went to the lab to prepare my substrates, then to my Performance Psychology discussion group where we spoke a bit on evaluation, and how that impacts one's performance (I do it all the time. Too much, actually).
Came back, had lunch and called the Missus. Managed to get her only at around 12.50pm, after which we spoke for half an hour and I then headed to the lab to do my experiments.
The results seem pretty ok. Not fantastic, really, but then again this isn't a fantastic sample either: it's more a sample of desperation, really, something that I've managed to fabricate in a week of scarcity and missing supplies. I did the Raman stuff until around 6pm, then went for dinner. Came back to the room, ate dinner while watching an episode of South Park on my computer, and after dinner I took a half hour nap. Somewhere I lost an hour, probably by reading the news and procrastinating. I remember being a little absorbed in looking at possible business schools to attend: that must have been where that hour went. I also started work on my INNOVATE conference poster: this is going to take a bit more time than I expected, for sure.
Finally I started on the math homework, and it took about an hour or two to finish, by which time it was already 10pm or so. I then completed and submitted my application for an internship with a statutory board, and sent it, which took about an hour or so. These applications are quite fun: filling them in is really exciting because I really hope to get the job or internship, although once it is sent I try not to think of it at all, or to set up any expectations of any sort on my part.
By then it was 12.30am. Now it's 1.30am because I took the time to brush my teeth and wait for my roommate to finish using the bathroom with his girlfriend before showering.
It has occured to me that I have not meditated in more than a month by now. Yet I have never been as stress-free with respect to my workload and academics... in large part it's due to the techniques I learnt from the Dave Allen "Getting Things Done" program, but also because I realize, I really LIKE to get things done. There is a "productivity high", as she says.
Quite crazy: I have a presentation, a poster and a final research report due by next Tuesday. It just hit me how soon that is! Crap.
Off to sleep for now.
Shiva Naipaul Memorial Prize
I'm going to take part in this
writing competition, and write about my Mannheim stop at 3am in the morning, which I spent with the interesting old German guy who spoke fluent English, drank buttermilk and quoted Sanskrit Buddhist verses from memory.
There does not seem to be any information about whether the competition is held this year or not, which is annoyingly the same problem as with the Shell Economist prize: seems like all the writing competitions are taking a break in the one year when I am actually mentally committed to taking part!
CFA and apartments
I came across the
Chartered Financial Analyst website today, and am now thinking quite seriously about pursuing it further.
It is a professional qualification that basically allows one to be recognized for being a finance professional, and is quite recognized internationally: I've seen it a number of times in a number of job descriptions at the various places that I have applied to.
Currently I am thinking if I should apply for the December exam: that would give me about 4 months of preparation time, which is about 12 weeks. It would be quite intense... we will see how it goes after I return home.
---
My mum is thinking of investing in a new apartment. She also seems quite willing to let me live there for a while, which would be great. The only downside is that I would be dependent on my mum again, and I really want to be independent and be with my girlfriend (whom my mum doesn't know about).
The new apartment (which we still haven't bought) is sited smack in the middle of downtown Singapore, within walking distance from the financial district, and very near the clubbing areas like
Boat Quay ,
Ministry of Sound, and the evergreen
Zouk. It's a perfect place for a young couple, as my cousin said, and wonderful for me to stay with the Missus.
One thing at a time now... one thing at a time...
My parents are a real inspiration, the way they managed their money to be able to afford my sister and I to study abroad. I'm going to manage my money like them in the future, only better!
---
I've yet to do a personal financial inventory of my situation, even though I had told the Missus to do so in the past. I seriously need to sit down and do some proper planning financially for the future.
---
Physically, I ran 25min 44s yesterday for 2.9 miles (~4.8km), and the day before I did weights and was able to do more dips than before. I'm getting stronger, for sure. And I'm keeping a log now to track everything I am doing: what I'm eating, how much I'm sleeping, etc.
What is surprising is how much fatty foods I am actually consuming, as opposed to what I
think I am consuming. I'm going to keep this log, and maybe extend it to other things like keeping track of my moods and attention.
---
It's surprising. I haven't meditated in forever. But ever since I've started using the Dave Allen "Getting Things Done" algorithm for task processing, I've been able to get more things done and also be more focused than I used to.
I'm not saying I no longer procrastinate: that will be a lie. But I do get more done now than I used to, and my mind is able to focus on a task and not get distracted within five minutes. It'll be interesting for me to sit and meditate after such a long absence, but I wonder if getting things done is also a training for the mind as well: it certainly ensures that I won't get distracted by the thought of "shit I still have to do so many things!" which used to disturb my meditation a lot.
Speaking of disturbances, I should go sleep now.
V for Vendetta
Just watched it last night. A pretty good film, made by the
Wachowski brothers who brought you
The Matrix, before they spoiled it with the sequels.
I won't spoil the movie for you, I'll just make some comments about what I think.
The Wachowski Brothers are famous advocates of
Landmark Forum, which is a company that runs these courses that essentially brainwash you. Apparently they got their inspiration from this programme to make The Matrix. Whether the brainwashing is a good or bad thing really depends on you. Some of their techniques do seem to work, and do brainwash you in the same way that you take your laundry to the dry-cleaners. But it also creates a certain unnerving advocacy, as
the filmmaker of "Supersize Me" recently commented about in his blog .
An ex-friend of mine went for the programme, and informed me that it involved a number of desensitization techniques. The aim is to be free from all negative emotions.
There is a scene in "V for Vendetta" in which Natalie Portman's character is tortured, and repeatedly subjected to interrogation and torture, until she had lost her fear of death. After that she was released, because she was "free", liberated from fear. That scene reminded me a lot about the other details that my ex-friend told me about, which I won't go into here, in large part because I cannot confirm the veracity directly, but more because of the principle behind it: the more exposed you are to your emotions such as fear and anger, maybe the better you are at overcoming them after you can recognize them for what they are.
It is fruit for thought. It is definitely something that I continually expose myself to, because I cannot feel content with just being happy alone.
The Sea Inside
Last night, I finally finished watching Amenabar's
Mar Adentro. It is the real life story about a Spanish man Ramon Sampedro who fights for the choice to end his life, only that he is not able to do it himself since he is a quadripelgic and he needs someone else's help to do so.
The movie is beautifully shot (parts of it was shot in Galicia, the area north of Portugal, and the landscape is amazingly beautiful), and very thought-provoking. In particular, the acting is just amazing, especially by the lead actor,
Javier Bardem, who plays the lead role of Ramon. Mr. Bardem was completely convincing as a bed-ridden quadripelgic imprisoned by his body, but with all his charisma and dynamism coming through. For his role, Mr. Bardem actually went to a hospital in Toledo on a daily basis, to practice his posture, mannerisms, and to perfect how it would be like to be like Mr. Sampedro. In the specials section, they actually showed a recording of Mr. Sampedro speaking EXACTLY one of the lines in the movie, and Mr. Bardem is to be complimented for his incredible acting.
Some parts of the movie were a bit retarded, like the love story between Ramon and Julia his lawyer, but apparently in real life, Ramon Sampedro had more than one love affair. He had such charisma and charm that women fell for him.
Goes to show that there is more to love than mere skin.
Zukunftsangst
I don't know what I am going to do in the immediate future.
I got rejected by yet another job.
Yet on the other hand, I am also very certain now that I do not want to work in the field of chemistry, but would much prefer something business or economics related, even finance.
Currently I am enrolled in a Combinatorics course, and we are doing a lot of very interesting problems, like matching theory, graph theory and marriage problems. These mathematical problems have economic and strategic implications, which make them doubly interesting (though it must be said that they are tedious to solve by hand!).
The scary thing is, I AM ACTUALLY REALLY EXCITED BY THIS TOPIC. I actually took the initiative to google about this topic and print a published paper on it, something that I hardly ever did for chemistry or physics.
As a result of this I have been looking for operations research materials, both in the school library as well as online. I am quite seriously considering doing further studies in this field, most likely in Singapore.
Will the Missus approve?
