keninabu!

Fingers burnt: We're On Different Channels

Wah biang. I think I'll contact her only on the weekends now. If I contact her at all.

And I got a rude reintroduction into the reality of Platonic Relationships between the Sexes. We're all human beings, but things can get very complex...

Well, I have a lot of time on my hands for now, though the bosses have been promising that things will 'heat up' in a short time. But I find it really disturbing that there's almost nothing happening for me in the office.

This place is moving so slowly, it's ridiculous. It's already my second week here, and I feel like I'm stuck in mud.

Then during lunch, a colleague asked me, So why did you apply to work here? We're in the middle of nowhere. I turned the question back on her, and we started chatting about how we both got our jobs here because "we have no choice". She told me she really didn't like it here (I actually don't mind it too much).

Me: "So why don't you find another job and move on?"

Her: "Well, it's really hard to move on back to the private sector after you work here for a few years..."

Me: "Oh, really?"

- ALARM BELLS RINGING -

I started to freak out. I mean, the plan is for this job to open doors, not to close them in my face... I don't intend to stay on this job for the rest of my life! I started thinking, and thought of two people who I could ask about this. Since it was lunch time, they were probably free for a bit, so I was going to just ask a one-liner question anyway...

I thought about my ex's colleague.
She's been working for a while now, and her colleague N. seems to have some experience in issues of human resource, i.e. re payscale, work environment, etc. and I figured she's the right person to ask.

I also thought of asking my ex, to ask her again how was her work like? Was she this bored in her second week as well? Heck, I have nobody to compare notes with. Everyone of my other friends are either working in different working environments, or they are professional lawyers, who practically live on a different planet altogether.

Earlier I had sent her an SMS about housing, since she managed to find a really nice room rental and I wanted to ask her how she did it. Add the fact that I'm not sure if she received my SMS due to the shitty phone reception on my island, so I had called her beforehand to no avail.

So anyway, in my new panic about job prospects, I started to call her, and her colleague. Both didn't answer, so I sent an SMS to N asking if we could meet for dinner, since I wanted to ask her about this.

I got a reply "Sorry I can't." followed by "This is between you and XXX, and it's a private matter. I really cannot be involved, I'm sorry. I hope you understand."

To be honest, it hit me a bit like, er, huh??? Wtf? What does this have to do with my career question??

After mulling on it for a bit, I could see that it was a misunderstanding, and possibly my fault. Afterall, I hadn't told her, the Ex, that I'm ok now, and that I'd like to just be friends for now. So N probably thought that I was bugging the Ex and her because I was having an emotional meltdown or something. Or just hankering for attention.

Later the Ex called and told me she was going to email me the stuff I wanted, and when I asked her if she was okay, she said brusquely, "Yeah I'm ok... I'm just annoyed because I was at lunch with my colleagues, and you were calling me and I couldn't answer, THEN you messaged N..." and I cut in saying, I'm sorry but I messaged her about something different, not about you or about the apartment rental. She sounded unconvinced, but she hung up anyway.

ANYWAY, I got an email from N explaining her SMS, and I don't envy her... seems like she has a lot going on in her life now. She also told me that the Ex wants space, and I should give her that.

If that's what she wants, that's what she will get lor. I'm not going to bother her or anything like that...

posted by keninabu @ 1:34 AM