keninabu!

Worst Case scenarios in the head

a) A so-called brother spends lots of time with die Frau, is nice to her and sweet in front of her. She 'tames' him, thinking he is just a nice guy and she can see all his tricks, but she does not reckon with his ability to charm (and this guy can be a real charmer if he wants to) through sweetness. She then falls for his sweetness and dumps me. I will be happy for her after lots of crying, but damned pissed off at him, and will go off to live in Sentosa as a hermit.

b) She gets bored of me, and runs off to be with a super smart, nice, good looking business guy with lots of money.

There really aren't worser scenarios in my head than these two, especially when I am so freaking far away, and when her behaviour is quite different from the past: as of now, on a weekday, zero emails from her. Not a single reply, asking me how I am, or even just a single expression of love.

Usually SHE is the one who would write asking me, why did I not reply? Why dont you call mè?

All of a sudden, this stop in these kinds of emails.

I have been checking my mail for the past few days, and almost not a single email from her. When I did manage to call her, she sounded underwhelmed, bored, and also very sick.

I don't know. Maybe I am just going neurotic because I am stuck here, supposed to 'relax' when I am without her and I miss her so badly that the moment I close my eyes, she is there, with me, and when I wake up it burns so badly inside to know she is not here and I tasted the pillow instead of her.

I miss her so badly.

posted by keninabu @ 7:05 AM