Upbeat
It's raining outside, and by the looks of it, it will probably rain for the whole day.But I'm feeling pretty upbeat today. Maybe it's because of the caffeine, or maybe it's the sugar intake, or it might also be a lot of emotional lurrrve coming from the Lady nowadays.
:)
Of course, there are still some glitches, like how her boss treats her. He's a complete git. To top it off, he's a git with attention deficit disorder: there are few things worse than having a half-brained ninny running the show while high as a parakeet on ecstasy! The poor lady gets bescheisst on a regular basis by this Ozzie parakeet... maybe he should just go home to his wallaby-wife and hop back to his continent in her pouch!
But I digress.
There are the other things getting better. I just got checked online and found that I have received an academic honor which I have been hankering about for some time now. In addition, I went for a job interview, and it went really well: I get this feeling that I might get a job offer. Whether I will take up the job or not, I have to think about it.
In addition, I submitted my application for business school: I heard back from both my recommenders, read one of the recommendations, and it seems to be a great recommendation. All in all, I think I stand a pretty good chance of getting into this school, even though I lack work experience, and I am worried that my application did not sufficiently address that failing. In any case, it's not the end of the world if I do not get in: I'm more interested nowadays about picking up finance knowledge, as I've been walking around reading finance books by Joel Greenblatt and by Warren Buffett.
Things with the lady are going well. My parents found out about us, but they are not angry. As my sister said in her email, my mother just seems happy that I am back, even if I am spending a lot of time out of home and at the Lady's. I've been speaking to my mother increasingly about the Lady as well, and my mother seems to be taking it well, which comes as a huge relief to me, to be honest.
Now we still don't know what exactly will happen to us when the Lady leaves, but at least she's now talking about trying to be together.
On my part, I've come to terms with the uncertainty, in a large way. One of the reasons is the story of a good friend of mine, let's call her K. K graduated from University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, and before that from a top JC in Singapore. While in Singapore, she was in a long distance relationship with this guy, P, who was studying in the UK. They broke up when she was in Michigan, as he was in the army at that time, and the conscription time was a huge strain on their relationship, as was the new environment for her. In the meantime she dated a lot of other people. But quite recently, they met again. He was now in Cornell, while my friend was working in Ann Arbor, and they met up somewhere in the US.
Again they clicked, and they also found out they were not attached. He told her that he still loved her, and as she told me, she realized that she felt much the same. And they were in a better position than in the past, since they were now both more mature, and much better able to handle their previous differences.
Now they're happily together, and while it's still a long distance relationship from Michigan to New York, the distance is really nothing compared to Singapore-US or US-Europe; add the fact that she's financially independent, and that he also intends to be in the US after graduation, and it seems like things are going really well for my friend K.
Of course, I'm not saying that things will be exactly the same wrt me and the Lady, and it would be foolish to think that. But it was a reminder that life, in general, is good, and that things do not always proceed in a linear progression, but sometimes with additional kinks along the way.
That said I'm going to try and help the Lady to find a job in Singapore, which is what she would like to do as well, even though she's also looking for jobs everywhere else.
Please wish us good luck to be together.
She asked me once, "Why are you so sweet to me?"
And I had replied, "Because I love you."
"Why?"
I don't really know. I love her more intensely than any other woman in my previous relationships before, and it is not something easily explained.
I always kid to her "because you have nice boobs", or "because you have nice eyes", but obviously, that's not it.
Maybe it is because we connect on many levels: intellectual, physical, emotional, political, spiritual, and gastronomical. Our tummies are literally growing to be like each other... :)
Maybe it is because there is a lot of mutual respect. As she noticed, I listen to her when I do not listen to others. I love her for her candid views and comments, which can be a bit too blunt for some people but not for me, since I can be like this as well.
Maybe it is because of a deep trust that we have in each other. Knowing that she will not let me down when it matters, that she will not abandon me when I need her. And her knowing that I will be there as much as I can, to be there for her when she needs me.
Maybe it is because while we connect, we are significantly different, even completely opposite, to make things interesting. Things get a little too interesting at times, but heck, I cannot imagine being in a relationship where the other half is a female clone of me: that must be incredibly boring and blah, based on my previous experience.
It's the attraction of the opposites, sometimes, but it is an incredibly enriching experience for me. For example, if someone were to crack a bad joke, I will still smile in appreciation at the effort; she, on the otherhand, will unabashedly announce to the person, "that is not funny". As another example, I have a bad habit of nagging at people, including her. In fact our many arguments stem from my attempts at rationalization when she is feeling emotional (a very masculine habit), which tends to come across as nagging to her ears. I like to think that I nag less nowadays, in large part because I'm becoming a well-trained boyfriend.
We have different taste in different things, like music and films. My favourite film, for example, is Fight Club; she does not like the film as it is "too gory and unrealistic (in its portrayal of a split personality)". In general I like the music she puts on, but the moment I play my jazz and classical stuff, her eyeballs glaze over and she starts to clamour for a change in the music. She doesn't like Oasis, except for some songs she knows.
But ultimately, these little differences seem to add to the attraction, not detract from it.
And all the reasons I gave above do not really explain the depth of my feelings for her.
I believe that I love her because I just do. It's not something that can be explained or rationalized.
I want to be with her, and that's ultimately the reason why I am with her.
I love her, that's all.
posted by keninabu @ 11:37 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home