keninabu!

Feeling a little trapped

Suddenly, I'm feeling doubtful whether I really want to stay on this job or not, and if this job is what I want to do at all.

I have this feeling of the claustrophobia that comes with being stuck and from not knowing if I'm making a mistake...

Of course, it is a bit early to judge whether this job is what I want to do or not, but I have this nagging sense in the back of my mind that I might be in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing. For one thing, I'm not exactly thrilled by the technologies we're dealing with. For another, I keep feeling that what I really want to do is to sit in a class about corporate finance or stock options, and to learn about those finance stuff instead of the technical stuff I'm dealing with now...

I'm also worried that I'm really not doing anything quantsy, and that this will be something held against me should I want to do a quantsy job in future, like a finance-related job.

Just at lunch today, my colleagues and I were commiserating about the fact that our workplace is very far from downtown. While there's a greater tendency to spend when one's downtown, it is a lot more civilized in its way, and it's a lot easier to go places after work, as compared to my current workplace.

---

In addition, I'm spending an unhealthy amount of time thinking about her sometimes.

I miss her laugh and her teasing.

posted by keninabu @ 2:44 AM