keninabu!

My Father

My father is a very weird man.

Sometimes he is the sweetest person, who's gentle and kind. I still remember one time I dreamt that he had died, and he woke me up. While I was crying, he repeatedly asked me gently, "What happened? Why are you crying?"

There was also the time when I entered the army, which was the closest I felt to entering a prison. My parents stood there, and my mother was crying her eyes out. My father tried to look brave, and he was smiling a weird smile. I know that smile: it's the exact same smile that I make when I am trying not to cry.

Sometimes he can be a lot of fun to be with, with a sense of humour.

Othertimes, he can be a real pain in the ass.

His temper can be very volatile, and you never know when he will take offence at something. Sometimes he will laugh at himself, othertimes he'll just withdraw into his shell of silence, and not say anything.

And other times, I try hard not to be bored by him, but it is hard. Especially when he just launches into this diatribe/lecture/seminar of different things: his job, his hobby, Taiwanese politics, China vs. India (he is invariably pro-China and anti-India, for illogical reasons), etc., and when he talks he always talks over people. He wouldn't listen to you then, and it's family knowledge that you just nod your head and agree.

A lot of times I don't, though, and I just tell him so. There was once we had a 2-3 hour argument about whether Tibet belonged to China, with me being pro-Tibetan independence, and my father being pro-Chinese government.

He is a complicated man, and sometimes I think I am definitely his son, with similar quirks and similar bad habits.

Othertimes I wonder how is it possible for me to come from the loins of such a guy.

posted by keninabu @ 7:45 PM