Europe
Is Europe turning into a giant Disneyworld for culture vultures? Sometimes it almost seems as though all the entrepreneurship and energy has really gone to India and China. Both countries have the hunger which, I believe, the Europeans either do not have across the board or do not believe to be necessary for sustaining their edge.
Therein lies the danger, I believe, of them becoming obsolete: there have been commentators who believe that the Europeans have historically been able to make use of existing challenges and twist them to their benefit, as they did with the rise of the Japanese.
But I think they might not be able to really do that in this case, simply because both India and China are exceptions: not every country has more than a billion people, with labour ridiculously cheap and with capital not too far off. Both are end-markets, not just producers, of tremendous size, with huge economies of scale. And full of qualified and educated people filled with hunger, literally and metaphorically speaking.
We are on the edge, and riding a huge wave of change that has just started up. Enjoy the ride, everyone.
What is your Dream?
This was a question asked of me by my kinesiology prof.
He started talking about the example of medical school: "How many pre-meds (i.e. college kids who intend to go on to medical school in the US) are there here?" and he went on talking about the length of time and the amount of money needed... and at the end of it, do you want to be a doctor who hates his job?
Or let's put it this way: would you want to see a doctor who hates his job? Imagine stepping into the doctor's office, and the first thing he says after looking into your throat is, "I hate this. I hate looking into your freaking throat, or anyone's throat. I hate all of this. I'm sick of doing this every day for hours on the end"?
Imagine this doctor telling you that you have a tumour, or an ulcer, or anything: would you believe him?
Most people think that a dream is a goal, and they confuse the two. They say things like "my dream is to be a doctor", or "my dream is to be an engineer". As he correctly points out, a lot of these things are really not our dreams, but frequently our PARENT'S dreams.
He gave us a new definition of a dream:
A dream is a feeling that refuses to go away, and that spurs you into action. I think my problem is not about generating ideas, or getting excited about ideas, but about the sheer
quantity of ideas which I develop in my head.
To give you an example, in the past few months, I have
a) decided to be a consultant, because I decided I like solving problems, and exploring different fields
b) contemplated setting up my own Vietnamese food chain in Singapore, selling proper Vietnamese food instead of the pathethic crap masquerading as Vietnamese
c) thought of writing a travel guide
d) decided to enter the renewable energy market in China and India with a company
e) enter graduate school and earn a Master's degree with someone.
If you were to ask me now to make a choice between all of the above, I would have a huge headache, and have to plead insanity: can I do all of them?
Essentially, all of these ideas bring a thrill to me, and in reality, I really want to do all of the above: the renewable energy idea stuck to my head one day, and refused to budge, and I was so excited I wasn't able to sleep properly that night. Same thing for the Vietnamese food idea. If dreams are feelings, then I think these dreams all pass that litmus test.
What I probably need is more focus than anything else... focus, and the discipline to stick to my choice.
That's why I've been learning how to meditate the past few days, and practicing every morning at around 7am or so, to give myself some discipline. We will have to see if this actually works in a few days... the past few days, I've been desperately wanting sleep (and not getting it), thanks to my lack of discipline in the night.
Texans
I don't know why, but there is a common perception that Texans are stupid. Even within the US, the common perception is that Texans are dumb and unsophisticated, as well as loud and arrogant. Most will not associate Texan with "cosmopolitan". Many people look at the South as an anomaly, but if you were to do a proper analysis of the situation, it really isn't: the South, especially Texas, is one of the few economically growing and vibrant regions of the USA.
Texans give people the impression that they are dumb, largely because of their draawwl and their pronunciation: a pen becomes "ey pin", you becomes "y'all", people become "folks",and instead of waiting, you're "fixin' (to do something)".
It doesn't help that most people think of Texas as something of an ugly state, a large gargantuan that will never win a beauty contest. Tell people about Texas, and invariably people think about oil, pollution, hurricanes, Mexican immigrants, racial issues, etc.
And they think that Texas is very racially uniform, unlike the Northeast or California.
I think they are wrong on almost all counts, though.
Racially, Texas is extremely diverse by some measures. In particular, Houston has a very vibrant mix of races. Name a nation, and I can guarantee you they have some sort of presentation here in Houston. Iranians, Afghans, Indians, Pakis, Bangladeshis, Thais, Vietnamese, Korean, Lebanese, Ethiopian, Portuguese, Mozambique, Nigerian, Cambodian, Russian, Romanian, Honduran, Australian, British, Austrian... I can type until my fingers give up from muscle fatigue, and it still wouldn't fully cover every possibility.
Texas is a larger extension of the situation here in Houston, though in the more rural areas, it is largely a mix of Hispanics and whites. But even amongst the whites, there is a huge degree of diversity: one of my friends is of Polish descent, and she grew up in a Polish commune that is self-contained; they apparently speak a form of Polish that the Poles themselves abandoned in the 19th century or so. There is a portion of Texas called "Little Germany", with towns like Weimar and Fredericksburg, with native German-speakers. And Texas has a very large Greek population as well.
You can't always tell that. Rather, what you see is just a Texan, with the accent and with those goddamned huge trucks that suck up petrol like a hungry bastard, and you think "god, these people are all the same!"
But they are not.
And, because they appear uniform and identical, you think they are dumb.
But, they are not.
I think that Texans are some of the smartest people in the world. In fact, like the lab mice in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", Texans are smart enough to convince you that they are dumb, when in fact they are not. It's not without accident that some of the most successful businessmen were Texans.
It's the culture. Texas has a culture that is very much about "go for it". It's as though they know life is short and you really don't have anything to lose, except everything, in which case you just build up and try again. It's as though they know the past sucked, and so they want their future to be better, and it's the only thing to look forward to. It's the same mentality that brought a bunch of people into the Alamo, to fight against the Mexican army and to die: only in Texas is this defeat considered a victory, a symbol worth looking up to.
It's this ENERGY, this buzz, this urge to create new things, and to be unencumbered by government and controls as far as possible, which makes Texas so admirable and which makes it the way it is. This energy is hidden behind the lazy drawl.
If you've ever seen a rattlesnake strike, you would agree that the amount of energy within its coils is deceptive and its poison is deadly and effective. Have you ever seen a rattlesnake move around with much visible energy and bounce, or ever heard a rattlesnake speak quickly in the clipped Manhattan manner? No, you never do. But by the time you do see it move with energy, it's probably too late for you to escape.
It's much the same thing with Texans, except they don't bite. But the same principle applies: you might think they are dumb, and when you finally realize they are not dumb, you've been beaten by them. Thrashed. And it's already too late.
My advice: never talk to a Texan about taxes... or about disliking Texas either. I would get out of the way before discussing either.
She Will Be Coming Round the Mountain When She Comes...
... and she'll be coming round to S'pore!
The Missus got an internship with a space related company in
Little Red Dot!!!Awesome! Cool! (And other superlatives best left unmentioned)
I've been lacking sleep the past few days, I've no idea why, though. But today I ran my farthest distance yet: one entire loop, and up to Entrance 8, and THEN back to my college from there.... pretty darned far. And I ran it in about 37 minutes, which is a marked improvement over Monday, when I ran till Entrance 8 with 39 minutes or so.
It's funny. The first 3 miles or so is complete hell. But then, beyond a certain point, it really becomes a matter of whether you want to continue or not: if I wanted to, I think I could have ran another loop (about 5km), without much problem at all.
The former President gave a talk at Rice today, and I couldn't help falling asleep while he gave a very fascinating talk, wtih a very broad overview of various technologies.... I think I'm not the only tired one in class, though.
I miss her. But I'm glad we're going to be together again very soon!
----
On the flip side, the prospect of writing a book after graduating, and of trying my hand at travel writing, is increasingly attractive.
Monsoon Wedding hai, Mumbai hai
"
Acchaa, acchaa, eck minute.... har, kyaa hua?"
What a wonderful film! I had lowered expectations, because prior to this film, the other
Mira Nair film which I had watched, with the Missus, was
Karma Sutra: A Tale of Love .
That was a total piece of crap, in my opinion: it was too idealistic, and romanticized ancient India to the point where belief was suspended like a levitating yogi. I mean, for goodness' sake, the ancient Indians were not all about sensuality and "learning the arts of seduction"! Nor are today's Indians all spiritual, as seems to be the generalization made by most people in the West.
You cannot generalize a billion people. That is just unrealistic.
But this film,
Monsoon Wedding, is so lovely because it is so real! So much like India as I remember it to be, especially in the monsoon season, with the incessant downpour which leads to much walking around through shit and crap (literally). Of course, there is a lot of romanticization and idealization in this film as well, not least because it portrays a upper-middle class Punjabi family living in Delhi (just how many Indians are rich enough to afford their own posh house, with each child having his or her OWN ROOM???), which the majority of Indians are not.
Still, there is so much of the colour, the diversity (there was one Bihari female character in the film, you have to give her that), and unlike the usual Bollywood nonsense, the whole street does not suddenly break out into a synchronized song and chorus of dancing eunuchs and working-class men: in this film, the street is the
real thing, real streets with real people in the middle of Delhi. Delhi, with its Connaught Circle (practically the only thing that I ever saw of Delhi, besides the train station and airport), and gazillion people all moving to their own beat and with their own agenda.
Delhi. It is a very Indian city, to be sure, with tons of Hindustani-Devanigiri script all over the place with nary a word of English if they can help it. We met friendly people there, and the occasional good Samaritan, like the hotel manager who allowed us to use a room for a few hours even after we had already checked out, or the people at the South Indian restaurant who helped us the entire time (while serving pretty awesome South Indian food, like vadai and idli).
But overall, it is not at all like the no-nonsense-because-we-have-no-time-but-we're-friendly-enough-to-smile sense that I get from Bombay; no, in Delhi, there was a distinct tension in the air, which sparked off a sense of wariness. Not once did we ever see a child walking around unaccompanied in Delhi, and I don't remember seeing ANY woman walk around dressed the way the Bombayites did.
In Bombay, women and children went around unaccompanied all the time. In fact, after the flood, there were reports of kindness all over the place: volunteers handing out potable water to weary travellers who had walked for 16 hours through waist-deep water, rickshaw drivers ferrying or housing the children whom they were supposed to drive (but who were stuck due to the flood water), bus-drivers keeping the bus lights on to ensure that the women on the bus felt safe and secure at all times.
True, the city really stank, for weeks after the flood. But despite the governmental ineptitude, despite a flood of Biblical proportions, the city ran smoothly within three days.
And the people never stopped smiling.
Nanotech conference
There was a
Rice Nanotechnology Conference, and I was there.
Weirdly enough, I was practically
the only person from my research group to be there: I was surprised that my group didn't have a higher profile, given that my research supervisor is extremely famous, and has her own company which is presumably looking for more funding to expand their research.
It was an interesting amalgam of people: I met a Taiwanese academic from Lamar University doing research on fuel cells, and also met a representative of the Hong Kong Science and Technology Park who gave me his card ("if you are interested in setting up a company to expand into China"). I also met up with the ex-postdoc of my group, who has since migrated to a different research group, where he seems extremely happy...
The conference program was extremely fascinating. Best of all, they gave 400 of the 600 participants a copy of the
"Nanotechnology for Dummies" book by an acquaintance of mine who was in the same quantum mechanics course as I was. On a cursory examination, it seems like an extremely good book which gives a very good overview of the existing research and technologies: it might very well be outdated within a year or two, though.
The morning started out with introductory talks by Candace Stuart of Small Times magazine, followed by research talks by three Rice professors. In the afternoon, there were company presentations by 6 companies, followed by a Venture Capitalist panel which rated and commented on the presentations by the 6 companies.
One of the companies was extremely striking:
Zyvex. They have a whole plethora of nanomaterials with crazy properties, and some very interesting projects in their pipeline, including a mass spectrometer that seems to be all of ONE SQUARE CENTIMETER. Pretty damn cool, if you ask me.
Another company was Q-Flo, which seems to be pretty awesome in its ability to make new nanofibres.
All these companies have established capabilities, and it seems to me that their biggest issue is to expand their business by pushing for their clients to adopt their technologies and make new products out of them, as Zybex already has. The potential for this is really enormous, especially for defense and technology: it really wouldn't be too far out, I think, to dream of a day when they will use single-walled nanotubes (SWNT for short) to make carbon nanotube fibres, which are bullet and blast-proof: already, Q-flo makes fibres which are easily two to three times the strength of Kevlar, which is the most common protective material for personal protection.
There are so many potential applications everywhere, I really think it will just be a matter of time before these things will really take off, and a boom will come with all its ensuing hype.
Which leads me to wonder, what should I do next: go into industry, or try to "be a scientist --- save the world" as the late Dr. Rick Smalley said?
New Semester
Time flies by so fast.
Right now, it's already the last semester.
As it stands, I feel confident that this last semester will be my best: I'm ready to make it so. My classes are interesting, they are not mandatory (which invariably causes me to be a lot less motivated...), the professors seem good (for now), and I am quite ready mentally to make this semester as different from the last semester as possible.
In retrospect, this entire college period has been a big growing phase, with a number of downs: I remember my second year being particularly miserable. Then the return from studying abroad last semester was also an exercise in misery and angst.
I'm already looking forward to my next step. What will it be, I wonder?
Return
I feel unprepared to return to school. The thought of leaving her tonight really fills me with dread... I can't stand the thought of waking up without her by my side, but that is going to happen quite soon.
What it must be like for her tomorrow, I can only imagine. She's a bit pissed off at her friends here, because they seem "unreliable" (her best friend here agreed to meet us twice, but forgot. Then again, this best friend just got a new bf, and seems to be struggling with work, bf and old friendships), and I'm a little worried for her, that she might lapse into feeling resentful at others for not immediately reciprocating her affections etc. She then ends up feeling lonely, because she doesn't feel like reaching out to others.
I'm quite worried for her, that she will feel increasingly resentful as her current semester goes on...
And I will miss her. A lot. More than I can express on this blog. Yesterday, we were watching a movie on the comp, when I stopped it halfway, and just started bawling my heart out on her sleeve. She started tearing up as well, and consoling me and telling me that things will be fine. I don't remember feeling half as sad with the other women in my life at all. Nor have I ever felt someone to be as essential to me as she is.
That's the main reason I don't feel like returning.
Yet at the same time, I can hardly wait to finish up and graduate. Get a job, work, save, become financially free by 40-50 years old through proper investments, and then free to do whatever I want to do, be it learning how to paint, or doing more meditation, or just touring and enjoying life with her.
I would like to work all my life, but at some point to stop working for money (i.e. I am financially free from having to earn an income to sustain my family's expenditure and myself).
She aspires to the same.
Right now our main priority is to be together, and then we can start planning and doing things in earnest. Her debt needs to be minimized first.
The Sound of Languages
French, to my ear, sounds awful to my ear: I have no idea why they say it is an elegant language, because it simply drawls and yawns in my ear. It also has a touch of superiority and condescension in it like a British upper class accent (without the
r's, old chap!), except it's not as cool.
It sounds very much like someone yawning with a blocked nose. German, in contrast, sounds crisp and clean, with clear-cut pronunciation. In certain regions, there is a melody to it, and in Standarddeutsch, it really sounds nice to me.
Both languages have a throaty "rr", which sounds like a cat's purr.
Turkish has a rhythm to it, and a melody that sounds like it is in the minor key, with quarter-tones like in Arabic music.
Hindi sounds melodious, and very sweet. It has a sweetness to it, esp when the Missus speaks it, that sounds like ... I don't know, chai?
Italian is just
dolce (
sweet).
The Thought of the Ring
I was set on getting
a ring. I don't know why: she's not the first girlfriend I have, but the first one whom I bought something as symbolic and serious as this.
Being the indecisive advice-seeker that I am, I asked a number of friends what they thought of the idea.
ALL five of my best friends were aghast: "Brother, better not rush into it", "I think marriage should not be on the cards so soon", "Get your degree first ya?", "
Siao!!" (
Crazy!! in Hokkien), and, best of all, "How come you are getting married and you didn't even tell me??"
It took a while to clarify. No, not getting married lah. Relac lah. If I want to get married, of course will tell you mah. Just want to show her my... commitment. That I really care for her. That this long distance thing is worth it.
The hyenas stopped howling, and started rubbing shoulders with me instead... "Oi, let me know how it goes, I'm thinking of the same thing", "What's your budget, bro?", and the best idiotic statement, "
Get her a Pepsi-cola ring lah. Cheap, light, durable, will not rust..."
-slap forehead-
I asked one of my best female friends what she thought.
"Relationship rings? Overrated. I'm sick and tired of hearing all my girl friends freaking out about losing their relationship rings... I mean, come on! Why don't you get her a necklace or a pendant instead? Closer to the heart."
Hmm, I thought. Good idea, really. Afterall, she has a beautiful neck, and she is the only woman around who actually has a neck beautiful enough to carry off a necklace or something similar (her neck bears no resemblance to that of a giraffe or of a toad, and is so perfectly proportioned...).
But at the same time, it doesn't have the same symbolic significance as a ring. I really want to give her something that shows I'm serious, not just a pretty piece of jewellery around her neck... that I will buy when I have more money. And living with her.
So back to the ring, it was.
On my last day in Singapore, a desperate message to my best buddy...
Text Message: "Where 2 find cheap relationship rings in Sing?"
Reply: "B___ & P____, and maybe _____"
I went to B&P, bought
a ring TWO rings with an inscription of love, a different one on each, and guesstimated her size.
And I had to give it to her, right when she was talking about how she felt some pressure from me to settle down. I could tell, she was desperately trying to get used to the idea when I gave the ring...
Worse still, the damned thing barely fits her fingers. And, for some reason, it no longer really fits mine.
But the end result is that she's now wearing it on her neck. So it's closer to her heart, I guess, as am I.
At the border
I was at a small German bath-town, on the border.
The train was late by an hour in Frankfurt, and by the time it reached this town, it was already one-and-a-half hours overdue. I missed my original train connections AND the substitute ones given by the Frankfurt Deutsche Bahn service personnel... on the other side of the border, my sweetheart must be worried sick, I thought.
There was a line at the DB service counter, and in front of me were two men speaking to a young trendily-dressed woman in Russian or some Slavic language; she was dressed in some white fur and some Britney-Spears-imitation jeans and top, while the two looked Turkish, with dark hair and more rings than a tambourine. It made for a distinct contrast from the clean, whitewashed south German station which we were at.
They were serviced by a German middle aged employee with a balding patch, who was pleasant to his previous customer, but who was not too happy with this crowd of three as they approached him, and immediately started speaking in heavily-accented English.
I dragged my bags to the other counter.
"
Guten Morgen."
"
Guten Morgen, wie kann ich Sie helfen?"
"
Meiner Zug hattet Verspaetung, und meiner Fahrplan ist jetzt alles chaotisch..."
Looking at my ticket and the previous train schedule that I was given, he said, "
Kein Problem, einen Augenblick, bitte"
He is probably in his twenties, with dark hair, balding top, and blue eyes behind thin wired spectacle frames, and a ready and gentle smile. Reminded me completely of a teddy bear.
"
Sie haben zwei Moegligkeiten..." and then, I couldn't hear anything that he said, due to the rising voices from the Slavic group, arguing with the DB person.
"Entschuldigung, ich kann Sie nicht hoeren..."
"English?"
"Oh, yes, definitely."
"You have two possibilities from here to France. Let me print it out for you."
After printing it out, I looked at one of them, and said, "But my ticket is not valid for this: my ticket is only valid for local and regional trains, not Eurocity trains..."
"No problem" and he proceeded to stamp and write on my ticket that my ticket is valid between this town and the destination. "There you go, sir. Have a good trip."
"
Danke! Schoenen Tag noch""
"
Ebenso! Auf Wiedersehen!"
So that was how I got into France on an upgraded train, albeit it was late by about 3 hours!
It makes me wonder, if he was able to do that, why didn't the lady in Frankfurt Flughafen do the same thing for my ticket?
Waiting for her
Right now I'm in her university, waiting for her to be done. She's in her element, talking, discussing with her team mates, teasing, making the occasional face and funny noise, and overall enjoying herself like a dolphin in the ocean.
The past few two weeks have been something of a dream: when something that one desires and dreams of comes true, it has a surreal feel to it. Sleeping next to her, everything feels alright once again, as though nothing could ever go wrong.
It has not been completely perfect, but close enough: the first few days were spent getting used to each other in Germany while we stayed at a friend's place as though it was our own.
Then, on the way here, we lost each other on the train... we were on the same train for 5 hours, followed by a different middle connection to different towns before meeting again at our destination in France. My connection was delayed by 1 hour, which snowballed into a 3 hour delay. By the time she found me at the train station, she was completely in tears and worried sick.
And that same night, I had my first asthma attack in 12 years. It was terrifying for her, and for me as well, as this would be the first time I had an asthma attack as an adult, and I had completely forgotten how it feels like to be suffocating and drowning in my own bed.
