keninabu!

Ghost in my shell

I have been missing her, so much so that she appears like a ghost in my mind. So many times in the day, as my mind wanders and I think about her, I can hear her voice and the rustle of her clothes as she walks by me.

I smell the whift of her scent mixed with the smell of the threatening rain, in the hot Indian afternoon in the middle of a blackout, in her flat, while the storm clouds gathered above the line of flats opposite her living room window.

I can see her smile in every reflection and in every empty seat that magically fills with her presence.

I can trace, in my mind's eye, the curves of her face as they flow gently into her neck, like a beautiful river of bronzed skin. I can see her resting her nose on my cheeks, as she tears up and tells me in her childlike voice, "Nooo....." when we talk about being apart, and she shakes her head in childish denial of the situation as we are now.

I think, when we eat a meal full of meat and pork, how she will shudder at the thought of eating possibly more meat than she has in her slim (in my eyes, but always overweight and "bloated" in her eyes) body.

I taste local millet wine made by the Taiwanese aborigines, and wonder what she would think of the sweet-sourish cereal wine that enters the gullet like a blazing dragon from the sky.

I look at the street stalls, filled with stinky beancurd, pig's blood, and other gastro(anato)mical oddities, and wonder what she will say. ("You heartless weird Chinese! How can you eat baby pigs??")

I miss her so much.

And yet, she really isn't far.

All I have to do is think, imagine, remember.

And she is always there for me.

posted by keninabu @ 8:18 AM