keninabu!

Tired

I don't know about you, and you are probably not a psycho-masochist-weirdo that I am.

But it is quite interesting to deprive yourself of sleep, and to observe your mind when it is fatigued.

It is almost like a video game, or like "Being John Malkovich", looking through your eyes and seeing the same things, but feeling very distant from yourself. It is as though you are a director inside yourself, controlling a puppet which you can feel, touch, sense and empathize with to a personal extreme.

When I'm tired, and exhausted to the extreme, my perception becomes heightened and deadened at the same time: I become much more sensitive to sound and images and movement and color. But at the same time, everything seems to zip by, as though I was moving in slow motion.

Sometimes, the longer I stay up the more tired I feel. Othertimes, I get more tired, but then past a certain hour of the night, I become wide-awake again (though usually, this means I will crash the next day).

And then I become repetitive without knowing it, using and re-using key words like "anyway", "sometimes", et cetera.

I'm tired.

posted by keninabu @ 2:38 AM